Ever get that feeling?
You know the one where you try something new?
Really put yourself out there?
The one where you travel FAR, Far, far away from your comfort zone because, everyone says life happens when you leave your it in your wake?
And, they say, you won’t grow unless you expand it.
And you have goals, right?
You’re definitely not going to achieve your dreams stuck in your office.
So, you try something new.
And it feels great. And you try the next new thing, and it feels great too!
Then another, and another… and so on until…
Whiplash! That bleeping hurt!
Whiplash! As your internal emotional elastic band pulls you right back to safety.
You come crashing down.
You maybe have a visibility hangover and stay quiet for weeks!
Or feel rubbish about yourself and you just can’t work! What’s the point?
Or you get sick, anxious, panicky and, yup, you can’t work!
Because it feels utterly rubbish to be in the valley of despair, constantly berating yourself about what you should be doing and being barraged by all the old negative thinking you thought you’d already dealt with.
And you start to believe all that painful stuff again.
And before you know it you’re heading right back in your comfort zone.
But hang on…
…are you all the way back in?
Yes, maybe you did stretch just a bit farther than you could handle emotionally, physically, energetically, and even spiritually.
And yes, it’s painful. So painful to have tried so hard and feel as though you’re not as far along as you should be.
It’s disappointing and disheartening.
And almost all of us experience these feelings at some point or another.
It’s a normal part of expansion and growth. It has to rain a little before the sun comes out.
It’s a backward spiralling and it doesn’t feel good, but you know what, it happens precisely because you are getting somewhere!
It’s those pesky old patterns and ways of being that have been playing the same old tune for years, grooved deeply into the vinyl of your subconscious, trying desperately to reassert and keep you safe.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, now bugger off limiting beliefs (in a loving way).
And also, I bet that if you paint a picture of where you are now, if you look closely, feel deeply and listen keenly, you will find that you have expanded your comfort zone.
It is bigger now.
You can stand more fully in your power and do things with more ease than you could before.
So take heart. You really did it! Celebrate and do what you need to do to get yourself ready to do it again!
That’s the yin and yang.
The ebb and flow.
Growth as we all know can be painful. Change can be upsetting and filled with fear.
I wrote the above to me, to ease my own backward spiral. A wee pep talk for Dee, to remind myself of how far I’ve come.
I feel the pull of my own personal elastic band trying to pull me back to an earlier more ‘comfortable’ version of myself.
It’s not all that comfortable really but our brains objective first and foremost is safety first. The subconscious will always try to ping us back to safety, to the familiar.
Even if it is genuinely hurting us to stay there.
I came really far out of my shell at the beginning of the year. I went to events, networked, invited people on a pilot course, ran it. Stretched, stretched, stretched, and then felt the tug!
Get back in your box!
Who do you think you are?
You can’t do this on your own!
Nobody wants what you have to offer!
Anyway, other people are doing it better than you ever could!
All the not very nice inner chatter twisting my mellow man!
I spoke in an earlier blog about my burnout, and how I really had to take time to come back to myself.
How I 100% allowed myself the space to begin the healing process of physically looking after myself and to also see if I was still moving in the right direction. To see if what I was doing at the start of the year in alignment with what I say I want?
Do I still want it? Am I still 100% committed to achieving the goals I set myself?
I’m still working on these questions and moving ever closer into alignment with who I’m choosing to be now.
And so as ever I believe that what helps me can help you.
I use this NLP process to help me when I’m feeling stuck, as it’s great at getting you unstuck.
At taking you from where you are now to where you desire to be while gathering to you the resources you feel you need now to get you there.
So grab a cuppa and a pen and paper and give yourself 20 minutes to pause and go inward so you can move forward with more clarity.
Here’s the video
Or you might prefer audio only
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